TETRACAMPEÃO!

The Onion Bag Drink Team / "Pay The Bill" Pose with Jack Keane on stage after their victory.

New York City - They came from far and wide, all with the dream of knocking off the three-time defending champions of the First Touch / Nevada Smiths Football Quiz. Many have tried, all have failed. Another predictably victorious night for the fabled Onion Bag drink team, "Pay The Bill".

Quiz proctor, Jack Keane, got the competition started with Premier League questions, one per team in alphabetical order. That meant the first question was an Arsenal question, precisely El Guillermo's Arsenal. Needless to say, we hit that softball out of the park and the rout was on. Team "Pay The Bill" would lead start to finish, again.

Each round of questions featured a different area of football knowledge, including English Premier League, European football, World Cup history, and World Football.

The competition reached half-time after the 5th round. Any doubts on "Pay The Bill" capturing title number four began to fade away as the judges announced the half-time scores. "Pay The Bill" were in first place, and the only question "Pay The Bill" couldn't answer was how big the margin of victory would be.

Mid-way through the second half, Keane asked "Name the club Ferenc Puskas played for which was known as the Hungarian Army team." Around the bar, nervous contestants were scratching their head while searching for an answer. Not "Pay The Bill". El Guillermo slammed his fist down nearly putting a hole in the table, and furiously wrote out the answer, "Honved", as if insulted at how easy the question was. That set the tone for the rest of the quiz, and it was only a matter of time before the champagne started to flow.

But not all was cordial on team "Pay The Bill". Late in the second half tempers flared when the question was "Name the Brazilian forward who asked for a transfer from PSV Eindhoven to Barcelona in 1993 because he didn't want to play in the cold weather any more." El Guillermo was livid that his teammates wanted to put Ronaldo as the answer. As the heated argument intensified, but before fisticuffs broke out, everyone decided to go with El Guillermo's answer of "Romario". Once again, El Guillermo earned his nickname of The Human Computer, saved "Pay The Bill" from certain embarrasment, and got the question right. The team pulled back together, as with all family arguments, put their differences aside, and got back to the task at hand: handing out a whoop-ass.

Even with the lead though, "Pay The Bill" was not content. Each point was deliberated as if though the title were hanging in the balance, when in fact, they probably were already engraving "Pay The Bill" on the trophy by the end of round 2. Tempers flared again when an incorrect question was posed by Keane. Keane asked, "What Argentinian team beat Nottinham Forest in the Intercontinental Cup in 1980". "Pay The Bill" knew the only team to win the cup in the early eighties was Independiente, so imagine their anger when the correct answer of "Nacional" was read out! "Pay The Bill" were incensed and instantly voiced their displeasure with the judges, correctly arguing that Nacional was in fact from Uruguay, not Argentina. Despite protests and a threat to walk out, Keane would not concede the point to "Pay The Bill" stating "I don't think that point will make a difference."

The final results were tallied and "Pay The Bill" were officially announced winners, for the fourth time. Some of the competition showed excellent sportsmanship and offered the victors their congratulations, while other were left muttering profanities over their pints. The organizers, First Touch, Carlsberg and Nevada Smiths, all hinted at renaming the competition to "The Pay The Bill Quiz Night" in honor of our fourth conquest. The very same organizers who allegedly had put together an all-star team to try and defeat the mighty "Pay The Bill".

Another glorious night for the Onion Bag drink team and "Pay The Bill" came to a close with the promise of coming to the next quiz night, to take on all comers, and defeat them again.